Overcoming Mom Guilt

While I am in the season of laying it all out there, let’s talk another difficult topic, Mom Guilt. You know it, you hate it, and yet you can’t stop yourself from thinking about it.

I recently had a babysitter come on both Saturday and Sunday for 5 hours each day, so I could spend some time with my husband, run errands without interruption, and truthfully just take a breather. Yet I looked at my husband and pondered out loud if I was a bad mom for needing a moment. And then I recalled a conversation at my book club, where we all collectively sighed about the inability to pee or otherwise in peace. Oh the joys of motherhood!

In the age of feminism and women power, we are told we can do it all. We can work, we can care for our children, and we can make time for ourselves. Yet the reality is that we so often are burning at both ends of the candle. Trying to figure out how to do it all while also eating healthy, staying fit, and sleeping. Not to mention, the pressure to read to our babies, reduce screen time, give our kids vegetables, avoid sugar at all cost, play pretend. Truly the list is insurmountable.

For the first several months after my daughter was born, I tried to do it all. And then my husband finally told me that I needed help, that I was putting far too much pressure on myself to be perfect, that I could not in fact do it ALL.

We put daughter in daycare (gasp) until we found a nanny, and little by little, I started giving up tasks and farming them out. I made space for not only what I could do, but what brought me joy. Like snuggling on the couch watching Disney with my daughter, like playing kitchen, like bathing my sweet girl and singing every nursery rhyme I know, like eating chips and dip straight out of the container.

That’s not to say that you can’t be superwoman, but for me, being Mami is enough. I let her eat the cookie, I let her crawl in our bed, I let her watch movies. Mostly, I just let her be.

I realized that the things I cherished most from childhood are the little things like the bedtime stories, the family movie nights, the Target runs with mom, and the cooking shows with Dad.

Plus, I survived. I had a TV in my room as a first grader, and yet I much prefer reading a book. I was offered yet I didn’t eat most vegetables until I was 18. The majority of my hydration was Gatorade and Coca Cola until I was 20. I didn’t start an active lifestyle until well into college. And somehow I thrived. SHOCKER

Now, I read, I drink water, I exercise (infrequency, but I do nonetheless), and I call my mom when I need something. So remember that next time you feed your kid Doritos (which is IMO the best chip), you are doing great sweetie. Muah

XO

Tay